A love triangle is usually a prescription for
broken hearts unless you have the kind of love triangle that keeps hearts from
being broken.
Now,
there's a formula in Ecclesiastes
4. It's a formula for lasting bonds between people. You could very well
call it the arithmetic of love.
Here's what it says beginning at verse
9, "Two are better
than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down,
his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help
him up. If two lie down together they will keep warm, but how can one keep warm
alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of
three strands is not quickly broken." (TLB)
That
passage is a powerful statement about relationships, especially if you apply it to the ultimate
relationship of marriage.
It says two work together better than one, two walk together better than one,
two stand together better than one, and
then suddenly the number changes. Suddenly it's talking about three strands.
Wait…I thought we were talking about two…
So
enters the love triangle: a
husband, a wife, and a Savior. That's the kind of love triangle
that avoids broken hearts. Ephesians
5:21 alludes to it when it says; speaking to husbands and wives, "Submit to one another out of reverence
for Christ." (NIV). It's the Jesus factor in a marriage that
always makes the difference. Now,
the triangle is the strongest geometric figure there is, and a love triangle
with Christ at the top is virtually indestructible!
In other words, you've got the man and woman joined
together by that line along the bottom, but they both have a line going up to
Jesus at the top. That bond between the man and the woman will fray sometimes.
There's interference, there's disappointment, there's disillusionment, there's
hurt. But if both the man and woman are connected to Christ at the top of the
triangle, that bond will hold them together when the bond of human
compatibility is unraveling.
The problem with many of us as spouses is, we don’t
always keep Christ at the top of the triangle. Often we fight to be in the top slot that we
push Him down, or take Him out of the equation altogether. But the only way for
the love triangle with Jesus to work effectively, is to always be certain that
He maintains His top priority position. While we’re fighting to be heard,
fighting to be right, fighting to prove the other wrong, fighting to get the
upper-hand, we undermine His hand on our Covenant.
Which makes you wonder: As soon as we think divorce
is the answer, isn’t it amazing when you share that theory with others, most
will always ask, “have you prayed about it first?” Why do they ask
that? Well, genius, you can’t call yourself a Christian then make a decision to
Crucify your Covenant, and think people aren’t going to ask if you consulted
Christ! Even other people are under the impression that you have Christ in your
marriage! And so they ask the obvious question of “have you prayed about
it first?” And more often than not, we haven’t, we just want a quick fix
for what we’ve allowed to slowly break down over the years. We want Jesus, in
the beginning, to bless our covenant, but as soon as conflict and crisis hits
along the journey, we pull the marriage over, kick Jesus out from behind the
wheel, and then drive our marriages right over the cliff! After all, how can you
possibly think you can reach your marital destination without the only One who
has the directions? And remember, we kicked Him out! But when you take over the
Wheel, you lose your Way from His Will!
So,
the question is, "How much is
Jesus Christ a real Person and Presence in your marriage?" Do you
pray together about real life issues as if Jesus is right there with you?
"Lord, we've got to talk to You
about this together."
In
fact, when was the last time you prayed With your spouse? And not for houses, cars, land, business,
ministry, money, promotion, elevation, or personal gain. But prayed With your spouse: “Lord, teach us to be loving, faithful,
supportive, encouraging, kind, generous, patient, forgiving. Teach us to
acknowledge one another strength’s and be patient and understanding in one
another weaknesses. Teach us to be a better man and woman; better husband and
wife; better father and mother; better son and daughter; better disciples;
better believers, better friends, better spouses, better lovers, better
teammates. Teach us to walk by faith and not by sight. Teach us to trust You
when our finances or health is failing. Teach us to be Your mirror to the world
of what unconditional love really looks like.” When is the last
time you prayed With your
spouse, not for personal gain,
but for personal growth?
Do
you often ask together, "What
would Jesus do?" Are you cultivating the habit of sharing what
Christ has said to you from His Word that day with each other? Are you at
church together? Do you sit together? Do you labor in ministry together? Do you
get on your knees together and fight for your family and children?
And though most ‘super-saved Christian’s’ may call
it ‘carnal’, but do you also laugh together, watch television together, travel
together, go to the movies, out to dinner, go shopping, do you still date and
court your spouse? Do you call and text your spouse as much as you do everybody
else? Are you in your spouses’ face more than you’re on Facebook? Do you share
as many pictures with your spouse as you do with Instagram? Do you text your
spouse as much as you tweet? Do you send flowers? Do you enjoy engaging
conversation from talking about Jesus, to the weather, to the government, to
what you ate for lunch? Do you take walks? Do you still share dreams, or have
you become each other’s nightmares? Do you sit down to dinner, in your own
home, at your own dinner table, without the intruding guest of your cellphone,
internet or social media?
Do you go for a long drive? Picnic in the park?
Weekend get-a-ways to absolutely no-where in particular? Have you planned your
vacation? I know, sounds ‘carnal’ to some, but for those who know that it takes
your body, soul and spirit to make a marriage work, you get it!
We don’t spend all of our time in church, in the
Word or in prayer! Those things are wonderful, those things are needful,
especially when they’re done as couples, however, going to the beach together
won’t send you to hell either!
If you’re finding it difficult to laugh with your
spouse over something silly, then something is wrong!
Even Jesus, slept, ate, prayed, wept…in other
words, Jesus expressed His natural as well as His spiritual. And there is
absolutely nothing wrong with you doing the very same thing! As a couple you
can preach the walls of Jericho down, but when you’re done, go to Olive Garden
and eat some pasta! Are you getting this?!
You Cannot Expect To Have An Enjoyable Marriage
That Has No Joy!
Maybe the marriage is rotting because you’ve both
stopped eating the fruit of the Spirit! Imagine if you digested daily more love
for your spouse, more joy and peace with your spouse, more forbearance,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness towards your spouse, and more
self-control to keep yourself only for your spouse, you’d see a tremendous
difference take place in your marriage. That’s the beauty of having Jesus not
only in your marriage, or a part of your marriage, but having Him (His Spirit)
as Head Over your marriage! Then, even on bad days, you could still be good to
your spouse!
So, are you attempting to make marriage work with
just the two of you, or have you considered a love triangle with Jesus? After
all, who better to have in the midst of your marriage, and even in the midst of
its’ problems than Jesus? Jesus saves, heals, delivers, forgives, understands,
is patient, kind, loving, and generous. Who better to teach a couple such
characteristics but the One who has exemplified such characteristics with the
Godhead? Isn’t it amazing how they work together? And as a believer, you have
the opportunity and privilege to invite them into your marriage to show you how
to work together just like them.
I’ve
always said it, and always will, most often the issue in marriage isn’t ‘we’ve grown apart’, the
issue is ‘we haven’t grown up.’ Marriage takes
maturity. It takes two people that will stop screaming ‘mine’ and start
screaming ‘ours’. It takes two people that will stop trying to have
their own way, and
instead go in the way of God. It takes two people who learn to talk to each
other and with each other not against each other and at each other. It takes
two people who learn to attentively listen, even when they have so much they
want to say.
Love triangles with people will destroy your
marriage, but one with the Godhead ensures that it’s indestructible! Which will
choose today?
The good news? You don’t have to do it alone! If Only We’d Stop Inviting And Involving Jesus In The Wedding Only…And Start Inviting And Involving Jesus In The Marriage Always!
Before you get married, wait for someone who is
joined to Jesus as you are, because it is worth the wait. And after you marry,
practice His presence daily in your home. A love triangle with Jesus as that
real third person is the strongest bond on earth!
I pray this devotional will encourage every
Covenant Couple in Christ to maintain their Connection and Commitment to the
Awesome Call of Marriage!
“Fight less, cuddle
more. Demand less, serve more. Text less, talk more. criticize less, compliment
more. Stress less, laugh more. Worry less, pray more. With each new day, find
new ways to love each other even more.” (Dave Willis)
“Your spouse should never have to face any struggle
without your full partnership, encouragement, and support.” (Dave Willis)
Blessings
J.P. Olson
No comments:
Post a Comment