Ephesians 4:26-27, “If you are
angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you
still angry—get over it quickly; for when you are angry, you give a mighty
foothold to the devil” (TLB)
Ephesians 4, starting
with verse 26, reads,
"In your anger do not sin. Do not
let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the Devil a
foothold." Well, there's a biblical clock here on strained
relationships/friendships, just like there is on letting dirty dishes sit
untouched. The longer you wait to clean it up, the harder it is to clean it up. Our conflict in relationships/friendships are like that too. That’s why
it’s wise not to allow things to sit, settle and fester. Remember, according to
the Bible, we have a clock on our discord, and that clock runs out at sundown
every day! In other words, we really shouldn't be hanging on to our anger,
after the end of the day.
That reminds me a lot of those old Western movies I used to love to
watch. If you’ve ever seen them, you will know the famous line all the marshal’s
use, "You better be out of here by
sundown!" Well, that's what we're supposed to be saying to any anger, or resentment, bitterness or conflict that comes
up in our relationships/friendships. "Get out of here by sundown!" There's a good reason for this. That’s
like leaving dirty dishes. If you deal with them and rinse them right away
they're soft and easy to remove what’s left on the plate; just kind of scrape
them a little bit and they fall right off. But you know what happens if you
wait with a dirty plate? The longer it sits dirty, the harder it is clean.
Makes me wonder if that’s where we coined the term, "hard feelings"? Because our unresolved hurt is just as hard as the non-rinsed
dishes! And sadly enough, that's when the Devil gets an opportunity to enter a
marriage, or a parent-child relationship, or a friendship, or a church,
business, school or workplace.
In conducting various marriage counseling sessions, I’ve discovered that
at the core of most every marriage breakup there was an issue that once was small, but it wasn't dealt with when it was small. That’s why it’s so hard to mend marriages, because problems are never dealt with when they occur. They’re not dealt with until what was delayed has now become a damage
beyond repair. Which is
also why it’s so hard to keep to the current issue, because
couples have left so many “small” issues
ignored, that now that there’s a problem that happened in January of this year,
but we can't deal with it yet, because we're still mediating the argument from
January 2003! What's Not
Resolved Will Reoccur!
In addition, at the core of broken parent-child relationships or a
hurting friendship, or a divided church, there are also people who didn't clean
up their anger when it first appeared; when it was still small, when it was still manageable,
when it was relatively soft. And now it's
led to a terrible hardening outcome. And the truth is, we can’t blame the devil. The
Scripture tells us not to give him a “foothold”, but a foothold is just enough space for a person to put their foot in
the door. However, the question that needs to be addressed is, who opened the
door? The devil couldn’t get his foot
in if you didn’t open the door and grant him access. And how do you grant him
foothold access? By sending your anger to answer the door!
“Be angry [at sin—at immorality, at
injustice, at ungodly behavior], yet do not sin; do not let your anger [cause you shame, nor allow it
to] last until the sun goes down. AND DO NOT GIVE THE DEVIL AN
OPPORTUNITY [TO LEAD YOU INTO SIN BY HOLDING A GRUDGE, OR NURTURING ANGER, OR
HARBORING RESENTMENT, OR CULTIVATING BITTERNESS].” (AMP).
This is how well you take care of your Grudge, Anger, Resentment and Bitterness. And do you know this is better care and treatment than some spouses and
children receive! All of the emotions that are opening the door for the devil’s
foothold into your relationships/friendships are being Held, Nurtured, Harbored
and Cultivated…BY YOU! Do You Know What You’ve Deliberately Decided to Do With
Your Grudge, Anger, Resentment and Bitterness? You’ve purposely grasped it,
carry, supports and keep it, you have possession of it, you keep it contained
and you cause it to stay by allowing it to be held onto tightly and securely. Maybe
there's a strained relationship in your life right now. Could that be why God
wanted us talking about this today? Well, if that should be the case, there
have been far too many sunsets, too many bad feelings you let hang on! Please
understand, it will never be smaller than it is today. I know that it's bigger
than it used to be, but this is the smallest it's ever going to be. It will
never be easier to address that conflict, that resentment, that anger than it
is right now, no matter how hard that might seem. It's only going to get harder
the longer you let it sit there untouched, unaddressed. It will only get more
costly because you’re going to lose relationships, friendships, trust, support,
and love.
I always find it amusing and sad that people will
quicker redeem cans and coupons, than they will redeem people, relationships,
friendships, marriages...It’s sad that we possess the Fruit of the Spirit, yet
our Flesh has caused it to Rot.
Listen, I by no means am saying that those of you
with “justifiable hurt; and legitimate pain” should not be angry. Even the
Scripture doesn’t say that, “GO AHEAD AND BE ANGRY. YOU DO WELL TO BE ANGRY…” (MSG) The Bible does not tell us
to hide, mask, camouflage, or pretend with our feelings and emotions. We’re
never asked to lie about the level of hurt we’ve experienced. However, we
cannot take Part of the Scripture, we must embrace it Whole, and the rest
reads, “…BUT DON’T USE YOUR ANGER AS FUEL FOR REVENGE. AND DON’T STAY ANGRY.
DON’T GO TO BED ANGRY. DON’T GIVE THE DEVIL THAT KIND OF FOOTHOLD IN YOUR
LIFE.” (MSG) Get Angry, Deal With it in a Healthy Manner, Then Let It Go Before
Sundown! Listen to the Bible, “…DON’T USE YOUR ANGER AS FUEL…” Well, today, I
was sent to you for the sole purpose of taking your discord out of delay mode,
and shifting it to deal with it mode instead!
Let no one tell you that anyone is beyond
restoration. Not even Jesus felt that way. And He had good reason to kick quite
a few folks to curb, but He didn’t…Judas betrayed Him (but He didn’t discard
him); Peter denied Him (but He didn’t discard him); Thomas doubted Him (but He
didn’t discard him); and in the end, they all left but John, and still He
didn’t discard them, in fact, He gave up His life still. And to take it a step
further, can you imagine hanging on a cross, dying yourself, between 2 thieves,
knowing full well that they are guilty as sin, and yet one calls out to Him,
and He still answers.
Don’t discard your loved ones. One day they will be
on the other side of dirt, and by then it will be too late to wish you would
have dealt with what you delayed. You can bring as many flowers to the
grave-site as you wish; you can visit the grave annually; you can sit on top of
their tombstone and talk to them all day long about how sorry you are, and
still it will be too late! Therefore, deal with it now, and make it a dead
issue while they're still alive, for once they are dead and gone, you will be
left with the unresolved issue renewing itself in your mind every day.
Today is always your best opportunity to go to that
person and do whatever it takes to repair things. Apologize if you need to,
confront if you need to, pray together, talk it through. You just can't afford
the hard spot in your heart that develops from anger that you stuff inside and
let sit and settle. Anger never stays the same size. Bitterness never stays
the same size. It always grows.
Remember the veteran dish-rinser, there's nothing to gain in waiting. The longer you wait, the harder it
gets. Today is a great day for a new start. So, call them, email them, text
them, write them, visit them. Whatever it takes, for however long it takes, put
the work in and rebuild your relationship ruins. It can be done, it will be
done. No More Delays…Today…DEAL WITH IT!
No comments:
Post a Comment